Exciting photo stuff

(two photos with Hipstamatic app)

So, I've been in a photo slump for awhile and still sort of am. I have been concentrating on my "Angels" series, painting, drawing and working on my YA book. However, simultaneously, within weeks, I've been exposed (no pun intended, really) to new concepts with the Holga, Eugene Atget's Paris park images, and, believe it or not, the iPhone.

I tried being a luddite but it doesn't seem to work. Kicking, screaming and whining for a year, telling anyone who cared to listen that I refuse to become one among the masses to even consider owning a smartphone was a vain futile attempt at being a snobbish and stubborn purist - much in the way I was when digital imaging first came out. When I thought there was no way a beautiful photographic image could be made from a computer, I turned my nose up and declared, "I will only shoot film and I will only make darkroom prints." Here I am, still shooting film but, my oh my are my digital prints nice!

And so, the Hipstamatic app (short for application for those people that oddly still wouldn't know), which is a camera effect app has showed me, like the Holga, how I can lose some more control over the end result of the image. No complicated buttons (which has always been a philosophy I have lived by) but a number of lens and film options that create moods/compositions like nobody's business. Full resolution gives me a 2MB file and a wonderfully intimate 7 x 7 printed photograph that seems to fit my work perfectly. I have a real project in mind with this, not just with self-portraits but other images as well. The only downfall is a lack of tripod mount, self-timer or as the normal iPhone camera has, a reverse mirror to photograph myself. That means assistant standing in exact spot I do when composing the shot and then hope for the best. As long as I make all the settings and instruct my assistant from start to finish, it is still my image.

I still have my film and Holga. In fact, I shot 5 rolls of film with 3 modified bodies just the other day so, folks, do not look glum. Film will never leave my side until it dissolves by the manufacturers.

The new year comes in with a bang!

Wow, the year has barely started and some "exciting" things are looming about. One of my videos on YouTube has been blocked by Germany and another flagged inappropriate and removed off their site. YouTube does not have a contact email but I did find a phone number and will be calling tomorrow to make a complaint. According to their terms, artistic nudity is fine (the flagged video showed little nudity). Now, it showed me tying a rope around me - the second of two videos I've made of this nature and though I am sure some layman was the one to flag it, the TOS Committee reviewed it and removed it. They shall get an earful tomorrow.

In better news, I am on my way to promoting the "Angels" series.

I have also created a companion performance video



and am in the process of creating a book if the images (trying different POD companies) to send to galleries/sell.

This will also be the year I finally get my YA book edited and hopefully shopped around. I am anxious to get it published and am thinking positive about it.

Also finished my first abstract painting! Do I ever stop working? No and I refuse to, no matter what else is going on in my life.

"Portal"


Until next time - sending light and love to those that need it!

The Muse Comes in the Most Unusual Way

A couple of months ago I had a dream. It was of a painting - a non-objective painting that I created. After I woke, I thought I would shake it off but the painting sits in my mind daily. Last week, I purchased a 36"x48" canvas and I spent a few hours yesterday and today working on it. I plan to make more time for it tomorrow. I don't know where this will lead me, if anything, but the desire to make it is so strong. The Muse wants me to.

I have put photography on hold. I was not liking where things were going with it, so I thought if I put it on the back burner, The Muse will come to me when she is ready.

It's rainy and the leaves are almost al fallen off the trees and onto the ground. I love kicking the piles of them when I walk down the sidewalks. I used to do it when I was a little girl and the smell of wet or dry, crunchy Autumn leaves always makes me smile. I do know that Winter will be upon us soon and if it will be like it was last year, then we'll be hit hard but right now, I want to hang on to this.

The holidays are also almost here. Making new traditions and trying to break old habits. Am I growing up? Maybe, but the little girl is still there :)

The End of Summer

And what a Summer it's been. I feel as if I accomplished a lot and nothing at the same time. I'm working on images sporadically, shooting the occasional video when inspired but focusing greatly on the book project. That has taken a great importance - the motivation for it is how much and how far I want the message spread - That an overweight girl can rise from the ashes and become a phoenix. A fat girl not to be defined by that, but by beauty, grace and strength.

I am going to be working with an editor in the fantasy/sci-fi industry and I am very excited about it. I have a few publishing houses I have been looking at that I want to submit it to when it is revised, so hopefully 2012 will be the year it is published. Now to come up with a title...

On a more personal note, there is also another reason for my lack of physical activity in the art-realm:


This little girl came into my life over 5 months ago. She was running through my neighborhood without a collar. I took her in, spent weeks trying to find her home (and with the help of our local no-kill animal shelter) and after much effort and no word, I have officially adopted her this month. Daisy is a 3-year old smooth coat Jack Russell Terrier and while my husband and I mourned the loss of two of our beloved pets this year, and vowed we would not be getting a dog in the foreseeable future, we couldn't help but become smitten by this baby. She has been so loving, happy and joyful and if you are an animal lover like I am, you can just see in this photo how letting her run loose or just leaving her at any shelter would not have been an option. Perhaps there is a Higher Power that wanted her to be with us and help ease the pain of our recent loss. Perhaps, it was just time for her to be with us...or us to be with her!

And as Autumn - my favorite season - comes in, I will welcome it with open arms. It may be the beginning of an end of the year, but I look at it as the beginning of another chapter in the life of AnnMarie Tornabene. Looking forward to what will happen in 2012.

Update

I have updated my website with new work. It's now August - and for me when Summer comes to an end, then the year is almost there as well. (www.annmarietornabene.net)

Seems August is always the month that I reflect on what I have done throughout the year. This was a tough year. I have to say tis is the first year that I really had the toughest time coming up with a new solid body of work. My mind has not had such a lack of focus in a long time. I did make work - a lot of it - I created videos, photos, paintings, drawings and wrote a book. I needed time, though, to sift through what I did, though and see what I could add to my site. I have done so and I have to say that I am pleased with what I have so far and now will see what needs further exploration. In the meantime, I am preparing for my second live performance for "A Book About Death: The Ties That Bind" exhibit taking place the night of August 13th in Bay Shore, NY at the Second Avenue Firehouse Gallery. It will be another live performance - this one solo. I think the live performances are no different than my videos and even my still images - almost seamless.

I'm anxious to see what the next month brings to me in terms of work, though. Until then, I leave this post with a poem my dear friend Eric emailed me that sums up what my work and I am truly about:

WITH THAT MOON LANGUAGE

Admit something:
Everyone you see, you say to them,
"Love me".

Of course you do not do this out loud:
Otherwise,
Someone would call the cops.

Still though, think about this,
This great pull in us
To connect.

Why not become the one
Who lives with a full moon in each eye
that is always saying,

With that sweet moon
Language,

What every other eye in this world
Is dying to
Hear.

Totally adorable

For those of you that don't know what my day job is - I am an artists' model. I pose for drawing, painting and sculpture classes and groups all across Long Island, NY (and some areas of NYC). I am one of the top models for most of the local colleges and universities - I say "top" because as an artist myself, I know what to give to the student/artist. My poses are dynamic when needed, and graceful otherwise. Most of the classes have consisted of students and/or artist ranging in age 19-90. However, within the last couple of years, I have begun to model for the younger kids - high school and under age.

The last two summers have been spent modeling at USDAN - a music and art day camp that has a great reputation, at least I knew for music. I had no idea there was an art program until I was asked to model there. The grounds of the camp are beautiful and the kids are cute - well, as cute as a woman who isn't into kids can be. Because of the nature of the camp and the age of the kids, I do not model nude but in shorts and a skimpy top. Yesterday, was the last day of a three-week session with one instructor. Because I knew the kids would be bored with the same outfit for three weeks, I asked him in the first week if I could wear a costume the last week. He agreed so out came the fairy wings:





The kids loved it. The art department head loved it. Hell, instructors and other kids from all over the camp grounds came to see me and photograph me the whole week. In fact, yesterday, I experienced the most adorable thing. The kids I model for are roughly between 13-17 years old. There is another section of kids in the "Discovery" zone which are ages 5 or 6. The instructors there caught wind that a real, live fairy was on the grounds so they brought their kids in to see me. I never realized how impressionable that age really is. One girl debated me saying I wasn't a real fairy because I had a tattoo and glasses. I tried explaining that I was here in Human form so they could see and identify with me but I didn't get the words out as the other kids were convinced I WAS a real fairy. They all screamed and kept asking me to fly and when I told them I couldn't at the moment, they were saddened. As the they left though, they were arguing with the girl that didn't believe I was a fairy. They honestly thought I was real and my heart swelled. The kids were the best and it was inspiring! Thinking of doing kids' parties now as a fairy - ha ha ha ha!

A great experience :) The photos here are obviously of me with the older kids. They were a hoot as well. As you can see, one boy just HAD to get into the faerie realm himself!

In the meantime

So as not to forget...